When you have your Mercury in retrograde in your natal chart, it means that in this lifetime, you have to work through and resolve some kind of unresolved karma in relation to your relationships from your past life. In this life, relationships and actual connections with people and deep relationships with people might be a bit of a touchy subject, or it can become a touchy subject.
In your past life, and in your past, you had a lot of difficult relationships and many challenging relationships. When you're dealing with situations in your relationships, you tend to apply the previous scenarios you went through subconsciously. You kind of go back to what you experienced back then, and you put up walls, and you defend yourself based on your experience in those past relationships.
It's very difficult for you to be present in the here-and-now in your relationships because your brain is constantly thinking about the past hurts you went through in your relationships. You are constantly trying to dodge those specific problems or the specific things that hurt you. With Mercury retrograde in your birth chart, it's also very difficult to be happy and content in your day-to-day life. Your brain is so fast, and your brain thinks of so many things. You are constantly wanting to either be busy or to experience things. There is something that you are constantly searching for, but you don't really know what it is. In your day-to-day life, you are not one hundred percent happy. You look at other people, and you think to yourself, why are they so content? Why are they so happy and I'm so unhappy, yet I don't know why I'm so unhappy with myself.
When Mercury is in retrograde in the natal chart, your mind is ridiculously restless, and it's very difficult to get your mind to calm down and to just feel at peace. You are constantly feeling consistent restlessness. You possibly feel that you know a lot and you have a lot of insight and a lot of wisdom, and you can see a lot of things around you that other people cannot see; however, you do not tell people this, and you do not make people aware of these incredible things you're aware of because you do fear rejection. You fear being judged and criticized for speaking out or for opening up.
Growing up and for a very big portion of your early life, you will choose the difficult way to do things. You do not choose the easy way out. Where most people will take shortcuts, and they will just quickly try and get something done, you like to go deep into things. You're a very deep thinker, and if something doesn't allow you to really get into it with your thoughts, you're not really that interested in it. At the same time, you do prefer the more complicated way of doing things and the hard way of doing things because you know once you've achieved this and you have completed the task, you have really accomplished something. You're not satisfied with yourself when you do things like everybody else does things because you know that's the easy way of doing things.
You like to prove to yourself that you are powerful and that you're capable of doing things better than other people by doing it the hard way. Self-expression can be a tricky thing and abit difficult for you. You can express yourself; however, you try to express yourself too much, and you can possibly be a little bit forceful in the way that you express yourself, and it's a bit too much for other people to deal with sometimes. You have somewhat of a tendency to want to get your exact point across to people. You want people to understand exactly where you're coming from, exactly what you mean, and you can be so obsessed with trying to get this exact point across that it can really frustrate people.
You prefer to live a more stable and more structured life. You don't like to live a very spontaneous life because it's easier for you to be able to structure your thoughts and to know what's coming and to know what's going on when life is structured. When you are thrown into situations that are very unconventional or that you don't really know what's coming, it's very difficult for you to really prepare yourself mentally. You prefer to be in situations that you know you can deal with mentally. You know the hard work that it takes to be successful. You know the hard work that it takes to get to the top, and you can see how everyone around you just wants to take the easy way. Many people think that it's so easy to be a success. They think it's so easy to reach the top; however, you know how difficult it is. You know the struggle that it takes.
You're very aware of the hard work that it takes, and you do not have any illusions placed onto you in terms of what you need to do to become a success. You will put in the hard work. You can see how the people around you aren't aware of the hard work that it takes, and they're not willing to put in the hard work. You can also get very frustrated with people who keep trying to take the easy way out and not willing to put in the effort and the time the hours it requires to make a success of themselves, but they expect to be a success.
You can very quickly and easily lose patience with people, especially people in your personal relationships, because you can try and get the point across them to be more structured, to be more serious or hard-working, or to be a specific way that you want to enforce or implement onto them, however, they are not taking this. They are not receptive to this, and you get very impatient and irritated through this.