top of page

The art of not taking things personally

We are all faced with many different situations throughout life and we deal with people from all different walks of life. We take in energies from the people around us, and the environments around us. Misinterpretation and misunderstandings happen all the time, and it is completely unavoidable.

Many valuable and meaningful relationships, whether it is friendly, romantic or professional get jeopardized due to misinterpretation. Taking things personally is something we all do every now and then, some of us more regularly than others. It is important to remember, that in order for you to function and your highest vibration, you need to choose your inner peace over everything, and when you take things personally, you choose to let others destroy your inner peace.

Perception and judgment is something that gets filtered through personal experience, personal thoughts and convictions. No two people will have the same perception and due to this we all process scenarios and situations differently. Some of us are also more sensitive, and due to this we get affected by the actions and words of others more seriously. Some of us just brush it off and move on with our lives. Maybe the girl in the hall didn't hear you when you greeted her because she was distracted? No need to take it personally and think it was a malicious attack against you. There are many scenarios that can take place, but it is important to keep your cool and keep a clear, aware perceptive. Here are ways to chill out, and not take things too personally.

1. Put yourself in other people’s shoes

We can often take it very personally when a person lashes out at us or behaves in a rude, unfriendly manner towards us. It is important to remember, that the way others treat you, is not a reflection of you, but more a reflection of themselves and their inner state. Maybe your colleague or partner is under a lot of pressure and is having a bad day. They could possibly be going through some distressing personal situation, or they could be at a breaking point. People go through things, and nobody can remain a perfect happy go lucky person all the time. Take a step back and put yourself in the other persons shoes. Would you still remain cool, calm and collected if you were in the same position? Sometimes, it helps to understand that not everything is about you.

2. You could be unknowingly pushing someone's buttons

People aren't always open and honest about their insecurities. We tend to keep our negative thoughts and opinions regarding ourselves and others to ourselves, in most cases. Maybe Sally from the office is self-conscious about her freckles. Saying to her: “That brown jacket really makes your freckles stand out!” might be meant in a loving, positive manner, but due to Sally’s insecurity, she does not see it this way and can take the statement as a personal attack. It is all a matter of the person’s perception.

3. Some people are just extremely proud, or insecure

Some people have gone through many personal battles regarding their identity and self-worth. Many people are extremely invested in the image and name they have created for themselves. Insecure people can demand respect, as they feel they are deserving of this. Some people are hypersensitive volcanoes waiting to erupt at any hint of their sense of self-worth and value being threatened. Maybe you told John at the office, who has been dedicated to his position for 10 years and takes pride in his title of the head of the department, that he is not entirely clued up on one of the processes. John can take this as a personal threat, as he could feel you are shooting down the fact that he is excellent at what he does. You get faced with sulky, moody temperaments due to this when you were just pointing out he was misinformed. In some cases, people are extremely sensitive and feel they need to protect their ego at all costs. Some just constantly need their ego to be stroked due to deep rooted insecurities. In these cases, there is not much you can do and will have to wait for the steam to blow over.

4. Wait for your emotions to blow over

It can be very easy to lose your cool and say and do things you do not mean in the heat of the moment. In most cases, a lot of drama and heartache can be avoided if all parties just step back and take 10 seconds to think before they act. A good idea would also be to remove yourself from the situation, give yourself time to assess and think it over, and go back and address it again with a clear head and a more informed and thought out course of action.

5. Re examine your perception

Psychologist Albert Ellis states that a person is not affected emotionally by what happens around them, but by their interpretation of what happened. In turn, our interpretations are formed by beliefs. You could have a perception in your mind regarding an event or situation, but this is entirely your perception, and others might not see it the same way. Sometimes, we can make up scenarios in our heads that aren't true, or we can make ourselves believe thoughts that aren't true either.

6. Worry less about what others think about you

We live in a hyper self-image aware world. Everybody wants to be viewed in a loving and respectful light. To some, the mere thought of someone thinking they are not this amazing flawless person is horrifying to them. The more you allow yourself to be affected by the thoughts and opinions of others, the more you will suffer internally, and go through a constant battle. Sometimes, you just need to let things go and remind yourself that you cannot control other people’s perceptions and reactions. Not everyone will like you, and this is not something you have control over. Do not give too much thought and energy to this, and focus on what really does matter.

140 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All